Believe it or not readers, we are well into our second quarter of 2014. Which means it’s time to take a step back. Reflect. Mediate. Think about who we are, and what we have accomplished.
Whoa, calm down Joe Biden. This state of the union isn’t that serious. But I do think it’s time for me to take pause and evaluate how I’ve done on my New Year’s Resolutions that I so boldly embraced back in December.
Let’s have a look, shall we?
RESOLUTION #1: DATE ONE GUY AT A TIME
You can join Dumbledore in offering me some tepid applause, because I’m actually doing a pretty good job on this one. Sure, my success is at least partially due to the fact that I went one some pretty terrible dates this winter. But, I’ve honestly made a concerted effort not to pack my schedule with dates with any promising bachelor in the OKC universe. The good part about this? I’ve been seeing the same guy for just shy of two months, and I actually might like him. The scary part? I’ve been seeing the same guy for just shy of two months, and I actually might like him, and I can’t hide my feelings behind the distractions with other guys.
Of course, I’ve kept my OKC profile active, because 1) it’s early yet and 2) I’m a
well-respected semi-famous dating blogger after all, and I need that profile for professional reasons. And, before I had decided I was actually dating the bachelor of the moment, I had been exchanging messages with a couple promising guys on OKC. Rather than just disappearing into thin air, as many many online daters before me have done, I decided to take the direct approach to let them know I wasn’t interested in going out:
HAHAHA. I gotta tell you readers, this guy’s response actually IMPRESSED me. I have a weakness for negative cynics, and as you have probably discerned, there is nothing I give more credit to than a direct, blunt response. So, it’s good to know, if things with T (promising bachelor) don’t work out, my Prince
Charming Miserable may be out there.
Anyhoo, speaking of T, that brings me to …
RESOLUTION # 2: STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT HE’S THINKING, AND FOCUS ON WHAT I’M THINKING
This is a tricky one readers. While I was walking around last year feeling like the most romantically wounded adult on the planet, apparently 5000000 people were having the exact same feeling. What I’ve learned from my friends, colleagues, co-bloggers, and you, wonderful readers, is that most people who have been in any serious relationship, which has then ended, amicably or not, is pretty worried about getting hurt again. As a result, most of us spend time protecting ourselves, which means 1) not getting close enough to anyone to let them hurt us and 2) anticipating the moment where the other shoe will drop, and we’ll get hurt again. In fact, this phenomenon is so common that there is a whole TED talk on it (recommended by my friend A. Thanks A!) I strongly suggest that, if you are one of the 5 million of the aforementioned people who fear rejection like me, you watch it–after you’ve finished reading this post of course.
So, inspired by the TED talk and the stories of many, I am trying very very hard to just embrace the feeling of liking someone again. And to explore all the other feelings, and questions, and reflections that come with it. Am I always successful? No. (Per the read receipt incident S mentioned a few weeks ago). But I’m trying, and this is one of those rare times I think the journey is as important as the destination.
Yikes! That is one scary GIF. I get the message, Heath, don’t worry. I’ll get off my emotional soapbox now and go back to trying to get some cheap laughs…
RESOLUTION #3: GET BUZZED, NOT DRUNK
Barring what I like to call “the Mormon surprise of 2014” (which is covered by the well known resolution clause which reads, when you are out with someone you can compare to Tom, Cruise and John Travolta, all bets are off), I thought I was doing a pretty decent job on this one. During a recent post-date Sunday morning brunch with C, I was patting myself on the back for this feat when C interrupted me.
L: “And I mean, T kept saying I was drunk last night. But I wasn’t. He just doesn’t understand yet how freaking fun I am, even when I am sober.”
C: “I thought your New Year’s resolution was not to get drunk on dates.”
L: “Yeah, that’s what I just said. I didn’t get drunk on my date.”
C: “Yes you did.”
L: “NO I DIDN’T. WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO CRUSH THE BUTTERFLY THAT IS MY SPIRIT?”
C: (Pulls out cellphone) “Um, please look at these texts you sent me.”
L: (mouth agape) “I don’t even remember sending those texts.”
C: “I mean, could there be clearer evidence I am right? You actually said, I got drunk [drink] on this date. You also said you wished I was there, which was weird.”
God bless, C, my real life sassy gay friend.
Thanks to C, I am back on the wagon (and by wagon, I mean 4 drink max on dates). Now, if only he’d help T pick out some better fitting shirts…
Overall resolution-keeping grade: B. I picked some hard resolutions y’all. (Esp 2 and 3!). I’ve done better on them than the year before, but there is still plenty of room for improvement in quarters 3 and 4.
Regrets: I don’t have any. All three of these resolutions are increasing my quality of life. And besides, I don’t believe in regrets. YOLO.