This is a short and sweet Message Monday, brought to us by an inquisitive young gentleman:

It’s times like these when I really wish we could reveal usernames, because this one is a classic. Spoiler alert: it involves a phrase from Jersey Shore and the number 69.

By far the best thing about this message is the order of the questions. #1: sex. #4: my name. Slow clap.

Audacious though it may be, perhaps there is something to be said for his direct approach. So naturally I came up with my own corresponding questions to ask a potential date in my next introductory message:

1. Are you a rapist? (Inappropriate lead off sex question)
2. Can you fix a garbage disposal and change a tire? (“Manliness” question)
3. Have you seen Dirty Dancing so many times that you know the Kellerman’s anthem by heart? (stereotypical girl interest question)
4. What is your name?

If I do try this out, I promise you guys will be the first to know!