I officially reactivated my OKC profile last night. I had disabled it since the beginning of the summer, so I could focus on just dating the fine specimens that I found on Jdate. Hahah! Just kidding y’all. I disabled it because I wanted a break from getting incessant messages from Future (and Current) Serial Killers of America (FSKA), and being propositioned like a hooker.

But it’s been a month since my last fling, and I have some more free time on the horizon, so I thought it was time to reactive the ol’ profile. 

And thank god I did! Three minutes after reactivating, I received this gem:

Let me begin with the positive.

1) He used “you’re” correctly, which is quite a feat on OKC– a Wild, Wild West when it comes to  you’re/your usage. (Though telling the difference between you and you’re seems to be significantly less challenging for men than telling the difference between their, there, and they’re.)

2) This is better than “hi.” I mean, the dude knows how to keep it interesting.

Now, on to the negative:

1) Um, it’s a little too interesting. First of all, the first question required some deep thought for me, and, after about 5 minutes, I concluded my most prized possession was my television. I don’t think that’s the answer this guy was looking for. But, like George Washington, I cannot tell a lie:

2) How are these “security” questions? I thought security questions were things like, “What is your mother’s maiden name?” Or those horrible little unreadable boxes with meaningless letters strung together you have to fill out when signing up for something, to ensure you aren’t a criminal computer bot. Not sure how knowing my opinion on peanut butter and jelly will allow this guy to figure out if I’m a sociopath trying to steal his  bank information.

3) Puh-leez. I can name more than 7 countries that have 4 letters:

Iran

Iraq

Togo

Laos

Fiji

Mali

Oman

Cuba

Point is, this guy was cute enough, but not cute enough to merit a return message that took as much energy to craft as a college midterm. I can’t even imagine going on a date with this guy without bringing an Atlas and CD-ROM Encyclopedia Britannica, just so I can keep up. Also, I have a strong suspicion he might be a distant cousin of one of S’s virtual suitors, who, in case you haven’t heard, is in MENSA.

But who knows? This may be the best message I get this week. So seriously, if you know some more four letter countries, holler at me. Clearly, I need to impress this guy.