Hi readers! Remember in December and January when I was all like: OmigodI just want to date one guy at a time and that will be such a challenge because they are all over me like white on rice but I’ll exercise self control and do it anyway?

HAHAHAHA.

Turns out, a lady can go from having multiple men interested at once to a pretty dry spell of terrible dates and notably terrifying OKC messages and, as a result, spend most of February listening to Fiona Apple and reluctantly eating sensible things like vegetables and homemade salads while pretending that they taste like cheese products (unsuccessfully).

 Via http://falulatonks.tumblr.com/post/12096670779/i-know-i-should-be-chasing-your-vote-but-i-stand

Don’t worry readers, I’d be regaling you with some of these sad tales, starting this week with the story of a lovely gentleman I went out with a few times who ENDED UP HAVING A GIRLFRIEND. YUP. 

And, judging by this gem of a message I received the other day, I could continue the trend of being the third in people’s relationships if I wanted:

Yes, being married is an issue for me. I understand it’s not an issue for everyone, and that the internet can be a convenient and effective place to find someone with whom you can cheat on your partner. Or, maybe this guy is in an open relationship, in which case, more power to him!

But, as I clearly state in my profile, I am looking for single, straight men. So, on top of being married, this guy either cannot read or just doesn’t care. 

But that’s ok. I’ll pass for now, at least until I am out of salad and Fiona Apple tracks. I’ve had enough of attached men for awhile. 

Debbie Downer signing off–