To round out our fun little exploration into the idiosyncrasies of LSD, allow me to introduce mine: musical taste. Music matters to me. My dad’s a musician, and growing up my family never gave a single f*ck about sports., but we talked about and listened to music incessantly. My Okc username is a reference to a semi obscure album that I love, and I still think a mix CD is one of the most wonderful and romantic gifts you can ever receive.
Now, let me be clear: I am not one of those insufferable music snobs who always has to be up on the latest band, or who thumbs their nose at a good old fashioned pop song. There are plenty of vintage boy band hits and Taylor Swift ballads in my musical rotation, thank you very much. I think almost anything that’s catchy and that you enjoy listening to can count as good music, with a few important exceptions. Which leads me to my first question for a potential date. This one’s actually in my profile:
How do you feel about Dave Matthews band?
I hate Dave Matthews Band. So much. Sofa king much. As in, it’s semi a non-negotiable. If we’re dating, you’re allowed to have owned a Dave CD in high school and worn a puka shell necklace to see him in concert/take some bong hits when you were 17, but that interest better not have followed you into adulthood. His voice. Uggghhhh his voice. Those awful screeching rambling excuses for songs. Shudder. I mean:
Now obviously, I feel very strongly about DMB, and I judge any guy who proclaims to love or even like them pretttty harshly. But this is really just a simple yes or no opinion question. There’s a right and wrong answer, for sure, but this one doesn’t require any critical thinking. My next question is multiple choice, and it’s something that my friend E and I feel very strongly about:
Who’s your favorite Beatle? And why?
You’re probably thinking, come on, it’s the Beatles! They’re all great. There is no wrong answer.
There are actually two unacceptable answers: John and Ringo.
John Lennon. Was he a musical genius? Totes. Prolific? Absolutely. Larger than life? Of course. Was his death completely tragic? Obviously. But.. he’s your favorite Beatle? Really? It’s just such a cliche. It shows that you have no imagination (restraining myself from inserting bad ‘Imagine’ joke here), and no appreciation for the more subtle nuances of the band and IMO, pop culture in general.
Also, I’m just going to say it: John was kind of a dick. So if you like him the best, that’s a red flag for me. Either that, or you know nothing about the Beatles and just picked the most famous/obvious one as an answer. And frankly, I’ll have so much more respect for you if you just admit that. I’ll pity and judge you, but at least you’ll get points for honesty.
Also, don’t even get me started on this bitch:
Now, if you’re stupid enough to give Ringo as your answer, please, spare me that ir0nic “I love Ringo because he’s so goofy and everyone else hates him” bullshit. Lookin’ at you, Zooey…
The man wrote approximately 2.5 comically simplistic songs which, because the rest of the band basically took pity on him, ended up on the same albums as some of the best music of the 20th century. He then casually hung up his drumsticks to begin his illustrious second career as the conductor of Shining Time Station.
In summary, Ringo was a lucky bastard who was along for the ride. You can think he’s funny, and you can pity him for being the one so blatantly devoid of real talent, but if he’s your favorite, I’m going to be asking some serious questions about your judgment (or lack thereof).
Answers I’ll accept: Paul and George.
Paul was obviously ridiculously talented, lovable, goofy, irreverent, and real talk, so effing cute. AMIRITE, ladies?
Anyway, so many incredible songs came out of his brain, I could write an entire post about it, but I’ll spare you all. Let’s just pick a random one and enjoy, shall we?
Also, we collectively forgive Paul the whole Wings business because, well, he’s Paul McCartney. And, did you know he wrote the melody to ‘Yesterday’ before he thought of the lyrics, so for months until he finished the song he sang ‘scrambled eggs?’ I mean, come on. Amazing.
My personal answer, though, and the one I’m most excited to hear from a guy is George Harrison, the quiet, quirky Beatle who mostly flew under the radar but also wrote some of their most beautiful and famous songs. Here Comes the Sun? Thanks, George. Something? Yup, all George. And moving past the Beatles, George did some awesome solo stuff. All Things Must Pass is one of my favorite albums ever, and if you haven’t heard it you should check it out ASAP.
In conclusion: if you pick the wrong Beatle, you may still have a chance, depending on your reasoning, but it’s going to be a serious uphill battle to win my affection and approval.
If you tell me you love Dave Matthews, though…