Good morning, faithful readers. So sorry I’ve been MIA for the past week! I wish I could say I’ve been busy going on thousands (okay, maybe not thousands) of dates in order to bring you hilarious and witty blog material, but alas I’ve been busy with other things. Never fear, though; there’s always something bizarre to discuss, and today is no exception. Here is a little gem I found in the annals of my message history:

So. Not exactly sure where to start with this one but I’ll give it my best shot. Let’s break it down:

• The incessant laughter… is this person high? The chip munching would suggest that yes, yes he is.
• “Thinking about my new car”. Could D and I possibly have run into the same guy?
• What is this “amazing class”? His level of intelligence and maturity makes me think that this literally may be from a freshman in community college who was bored in his Intro to Sociology lecture. Aaaaand now I officially want to take a shower. Unfortunately I can’t verify his age or anything else about him because he has since deleted his profile, possibly because his mom found it on their family desktop and forced him to get rid of it when he was home for winter break.
• Let’s just assume for the sake of this post that he’s over 21, not mentally handicapped, and not clinically insane. What exactly am I supposed to do with a message like this? If you can come up with an answer beyond “post it on the internet for your friends to marvel at”, please leave me a comment and I promise I’ll get right on it.