Entry #2—Cheap date
One day a few years ago I was feeling very optimistic and agreed to go on a blind date arranged by….my mother. She had met my future date’s mother at a business meeting and once they both realized they had single kids who lived in the same city they got to plotting. They were very pleased with themselves for making such a fantastic arrangement. He, a nice Jewish law student, and she – a sassy Irish-Danish girl from Jersey. I was, as I said, feeling optimistic, and as my mother said “What’s the worst that can happen? You get a free meal?” Fair point mom, fair point. Who doesn’t like free things? I was game.
The minute I saw my date, however, I was immediately discouraged to find out that my date had Michael J Fox’s height without any of his charm and charisma. His short stature was topped off with a giant Jew-fro making him significantly taller yet still under 5’5″. I decided to still push through though – onto the free dinner! Perhaps he had a wonderful personality or was secretly going to be the Billy Joel to my Christie Brinkley. (I do NOT actually think I am at all in Christie Brinkley’s class but my point is, that Christie and Billy’s wild discrepancy in the looks department accurately compares with the looks of myself and my awesome, awesome date).
At the bar/restaurant, my date went on to order some of the most expensive food and beers off the menu. I had a $9 chicken cutlet and one beer. We sat and chatted for a little bit because I could talk to a brick wall so I’m sure he thought I was having a good time (side note – I was not). At the end of the evening the bill came and the waiter placed the check closer to my date. I saw the check and the meal was well over $60 what with his large meal of “drunken clams.” He immediately picked it up and I thought – way to go, date! – Just as that thought left my brain, he threw the check back onto the table with a $10 bill and said “This is all I have….”
I. know. Did I just get up and tell him to have fun washing dishes then? Or ask him where his DEBIT CARD WAS? It was 2007 and no one walks around without some sort of plastic. And adults do not go places without having enough money to pay for AT LEAST themselves, let alone their date. No. No. I was mortified and silently went into my wallet and pulled out the emergency cash I had in case I “had to go dutch.” Little did I know I would be paying for the ENTIRE MEAL.
I left that evening and sat and cried by myself in the train station. I immediately went home and made my mom pay me back the money for the dinner. So at least technically, I did get a free dinner. Thanks mom!!
The next day he sent me an email saying he had a really great time and he’d like to do it again.
Hahaha, I bet he would. I never responded.