Message, Pic, and Profile of the Week

In the online dating blogger world, we call this guy a triple threat.

First, his message:

charming profile message 10-15-2013

First of all, this is one of the laziest messages I’ve ever seen, next to the standard, “hi.” It’s barely a form letter. It’s a form sentence. I know many guys do this, but at least be creative.

Also, this is the stupidest, most unsafe thing I’ve ever seen. Giving your name and NUMBER to strange girls is like providing a wire transfer to one of those random people on the internet who emails you claiming to be a victim of identify theft trapped in the Nigerian wilderness. I was tempted to post his number so we could spam him. 

Then, his pic:

shirtless winner

Ahh, another sleeping beauty! Apparently, this pose is very popular with men. I know I haven’t checked out a lot of women’s profiles, but I’ve done my fair share of opposition research, and I can tell you, I have yet to see a picture of a woman languishing in bed. 

Finally, his profile, which explains it all:

charming profile army guy 10-15-2013

Look, with a body like that, you probably don’t need dating sites to get laid. I am 90% willing to bet that the barrier to you getting laid happens when you open your mouth. But what do you care what I think, since “most girls on here are a waste of time.”

charming profile army guy 2 10-15-2013

Sadly, I am kind of into skinny, weak men. So I don’t think we’re soulmates buddy. That’s a shame, because I am not low rent.

Unless low rent means you have a cheap apartment? Because IF SO, SIGN ME UP! BABY GIRL IS ABOUT TO GO BROKE.

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