Y’all, last week, I received the best message:
Hi mom, is that you?
No, seriously, Mr. Internet man, no one tells me that all the time. Except for my mom, who usually delivers the compliment during moments where it is especially unbelievable, i.e., I am returning from the gym, have poison ivy on my face, am wearing full stage makeup, etc.
I mean, sure, I get my fair share of OKC harassment, in the form of “your sexy,” “u a beatiful glir,”, “why iz sumone as hot as u still single? Do you have an STD?.” These generic, sometimes offensive, and usually misspelled compliments are typical for all women, regardless of what we actually look like. (Including TACOSDELISH, who, as I shared earlier on the blog, doesn’t even have a picture. But that doesn’t stop men from messaging her and saying things like, “Yr real hot,” and “can i stick it in that sweet ass?”
But this compliment was so specific! Why, yes, I do have a decent smile and eyes! And I’ve been hauling it to Pilates
a couple one time per week; so thanks for noticing!!! Thanks for treating me like the special, beautiful flower my mother says I am!
I also appreciate that this guy makes his purpose clear. He isn’t trying to go out with me, or start a conversation. He just wanted to stop by and boost my self esteem for a little. Which I appreciate, because I am cripplingly insecure, and will take any and all validation I can get.
Even if it’s from someone who is obviously a pervert. Behold, a lovely excerpt from his profile:
Just so you know, buddy, not everyone lists those things. While 2 of the 5 things you listed are NSFW, I’ll give you points for originality.
It is clear sir. And, thank you for being up front about that.
Regardless of what his profile says, please know that after reading this message, I danced around my apartment to this:
That’s right. Me and Right Said Fred. Too sexy.