Oh boy you guys. Get ready, because the message I’m about to share is outrageously crude and offensive.

Back in July, a couple friends were visiting Boston for a few days and staying with me. One night we went to a Sox game, and during that dead time between innings they convinced me to join Tinder. For those who aren’t familiar, it’s an app that links to your facebook profile. Specifically, your profile pictures. The gist is that, based on your location, a picture of a guy/girl comes up and you swipe right if you “like” them, and left if you don’t. If you swipe left, it brings up a new person. If you swipe “like”, and they have also “liked” you, then it tells you you’re a match and opens up a chat option. It’s a hookup site. I mean, it also tells you if you have friends and/or interests in common, and has a little area for you to write something up, but I feel confident in saying that approximately 2% of users actually look at that info. Anyway, I knew Tinder existed, and my feelings about the app prior to that night resembled this:

However, that night I agreed to join. I was having a great time with my friends, the beer was flowing, the Sox were losing – I was in a fantastic mood. And I hated to admit it, but once I started using it I actually kind of enjoyed it. There was something very satisfying about all that superficial swiping. And it made waiting for/riding the T more interesting, which is an accomplishment hard to come by because the T is the worst.

And then at 10 a.m. on a workday, some dude I had “matched” with sent me this:

…

Disturbed, but unable to just ignore the message, I responded.

Who’re. BURN.