Well, as tempting as it is to be the Bonnie to someone’s Clyde:
I think I’ll pass as I’m not really into stealing. The only time I can recall stealing something is when I accidentally walked out of a store with a pair of aviators on my head in college. I was shopping for my costume for a midnight showing of Super Troopers and I literally had just paid for a pair at the cash register. #Badass
Based on the sweet plastic lei this gentleman is sporting in his profile pic, I’m going to take a wild guess and say that his targets are Dollar Tree and/or Party City. So thanks for the offer, Danny Ocean, but I don’t really need 2 dozen sets of Mardis Gras beads or movie theater sized candy that’s 6 years past its shelf life.
I do, however, need to stare at The Cloon for a bit. Mmmm. You’re welcome, ladies.
Honestly the only target I would seriously consider robbing would be amatchmaking service. If I could get my hands on the phone #s of some normal, eligible single men who have been screened by a professional and who aren’t going to ask me to commit a crime or talk about what kind of stockings I wear the very first time we interact, well then (ironically enough) that may actually be worth 36 hours of community service.
I’m comin’ for ya, Patti!
The thing is that our shenanigans are cheeky and fun, this guy’s shenanigans are cruel and tragic…which makes them not shenanigans at all.
Hey Farva, what’s the name of that restaurant you love with the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?
Pingback: I paid $75 for a Match.com subscription and all I got was this rage-filled manifesto | Stupid Cupid