Hello loyal readers! Before I get to my post, just wanted to share a quick social media update: you can now follow StuCu on both Facebook and Twitter!

  Follow @stucublog

As you can see, we currently have exactly one twitter follower (thanks, E!) and zero Facebook followers, so if we get 5 total out of this little PSA we will feel like the coolest girls at band camp. We’ve also had some questions about sharing the blog on Facebook (you guys are the best) since we’re trying to stay anonymous, but these pages aren’t connected at all to our personal accounts so please feel free to share away!

All three of us will be tweeting, possibly even live tweeting during dates (okay that admittedly would be a tad rude, but I can’t promise there won’t be bathroom tweeting if a date is awful), talking about upcoming posts, doing a lot of unnecessary (slash totally necessary) hashtagging, and sharing super interesting tidbits about our exciting single lives…

#LizLemonforever (don’t say I didn’t warn you!) Now without further delay, here is Friday’s post on dating trends:

When we started this blog a few months ago, I opened a fresh Google doc and made a list of everyone I’ve been out with for reference/story purposes. As I reviewed my past dates, I started to notice certain…similarities. Trends, if you will. It turns out the guys I’ve been seeing definitely have some random things in common. Unfortunately I don’t mean that I’ve dated multiple socially conscious millionaires with hearts of gold, or multiple guys who look like this:

My examples are slightly weirder…

Number of journalists I’ve dated: 4

Two of these guys were print journalists, an ALLEGEDLY dying profession, but I somehow managed to find a few. To be clear I was not a journalism major, I don’t work in journalism (unless you count my prestigious blogging career), and I don’t mention anything about being an aspiring writer on my profile. Please know that two of these guys also literally attended the same (out of state) school for journalism. Possible Explanation: I obviously like to write, and I definitely value that talent in others. I also think I’m drawn to well written and witty profiles since that’s legitimately all you have to go off of in the beginning. Plus I totally judge people on spelling and grammar. And not to toot my own horn (too late) but I think I’m a pretty decent writer, so maybe that’s how these dudes are finding their way to my profile. Either that or they all know each other and this is some sort of elaborate ruse for an article in the Chicago Sun Times.

Damn, I forgot about Michael Vartan. He was a delicious treat.

Number of former DJs or guys who claimed to DJ “as a hobby”: 3

Is this a thing I wasn’t aware of? Does everyone suddenly have a turntable in their living room? One of these dudes allegedly messed around with it for fun, but the second was a well known DJ in Philly for a while (my friends and I refer to him exclusively as DJ A___) and the third had a podcast that he DJ’d every Sunday and apparently was often hired to “spin at house parties” (PS who the eff is hiring a DJ for their house party? College frats? Hipsters? Weird ravers who didn’t get the memo that it’s no longer 2001?) So there’s that. And PS I always found out about this in person, on a date, not beforehand… it’s to the point where the last guy said “DJ” and I literally thought my friends were punking me. Possible Explanation: I love music, and I definitely mention that in my profile, but it’s interesting that I’ve never been out with an actual musician/member of a band. Just, you know, MCs spinning jams.

Fun useless pop culture fact: that scary DJ is none other than Justin Theroux, aka Mr. Jennifer Aniston. So apparently I’m in good company.

Number of guys who claimed I was their first or second OKCupid date ever: 4+

Yeahhhh. This one is… troubling. I mean, how do I not interpret this as guys are asking me out because they think I’m super obtainable as a date/not out of their league/someone they want to “practice” on? I know I certainly thought that about my first date ever… I literally looked at his profile said out loud, “WELP, gotta start somewhere.” I also do feel like I’m more nice/polite/friendly than your average jaded single gal, so maybe that just comes off as approachable? I hope? #Laugh/cry. Possible Explanation: I’m the dating equivalent of training wheels. In the interest of not wanting to kill myself, let’s just chalk it up to me being super awesome and guys not wanting to waste another second before meeting me. Or alternatively, that they’re all lying (wouldn’t be the first time) and are actually seasoned online dating veterans.

Number of “actors”: 3

I live in Philly, so obviously we’re not talking card carrying SAG members who are gunning for soaps and Old Spice commercials (remember this gem?). I wish. These three guys all had day jobs but acted locally on stage as a hobby. I believe the the term “regional theater” was used more than once in conversation. So actually that “ironic” 30 Rock clip from the beginning of the post could LITERALLY apply to me if I dated one of these guys long term. One of them had also recently joined an improv group…

Possible explanation: I honestly have no idea what this trend is about. I mean, one of my dating pet peeves is guys who are bad conversationalists, and these were definitely three of my more outgoing dates, so in that way it makes sense.

Conclusion: Apparently I date dramatic musical writers who are just looking to write headlines, spin some vinyl and get their feet wet in the dating world before moving on to greener pastures. Hmm. Well. I think I need to call on the wisdom of my spirit animal, Liz Lemon, once again: 

Have a great weekend, guys!